Tombstones

Personal retreats are a must in this line of work. I need to pull away for a few days, 2 or 3, just to let all of the pieces of ministry fall to the earth and settle a bit. It really is quite amazing what gets moved farther up the priority list and what gets left behind as just not that important right now. I took my retreat at Eagle Bay Camp about 45 minutes from Salmon Arm and about 2 and half hours north of Peachland. It was beautiful, it was quiet, it was restful, it was relaxing and I got quiet enough to listen to my heart, my mind slowed down and the Lord was graciously communicating with me.
On the way to the camp there is a little country church with a grave yard attached to it. So I decided that a part of my time there would include a trip to the grave yard to walk among the tombstones. To read the inscriptions and wonder about the stories of the lives of those who are now gone on. I think I was in the right frame of mind for this with news of Edna's passing and also the passing of a friend of ours here in Kelowna . There were some very old tombstones there, even a few from the mid to late 1800's. There were all ages represented but most of the ages were well into their 80's and 90's. There were two that caused me to stop and ponder. The first was a double grave site. With a young man in his late twenties buried beside a little boy that was 6 months old. The boys grave had a little truck and another little toy sitting at the head of the grave. I wondered how this happened. Perhaps a car accident or maybe a boating accident? I wondered about the young mother and wife who lost so much that day. This grave brought the value of my family and the importance of investing my very best into it into clear focus. Then I moved on to a site that seemed out of place. Up until this grave all the markers had the date of birth and the date of death on them. This was the only one that didn't. It was also a double grave, one side, the husband's side, had both the DOB and the DOD on it but the wife's side only had the date of birth and a dash followed by a blank space. Two things struck me. The importance of the dash. Life seems like a dash, a breath or as scripture says a vapor. It brought me to a fresh desire to make my dash count, to make it worthy of the gospel that has saved me. To make it count for my wife and kids, my brothers and sister(s) and their kids, my mom(s) and my dad(s). Then the blank spot signified that her story was still unfolding, that it had not yet finished, there were still chapters to be written. I spent the next hour just asking the Lord for fresh new life and vison for the future chapters of my own life that are yet to be written. I asked that they be filled with love and joy and full of adventure that comes from serving such a great and awesome God. The God of the living and the dead!
If you've never taken a stroll among some tombstones I would recommend it to you. Hanging out with dead people can really make you appreciate your life!

Boredom

I had an interesting 2 hour chat today with a couple people. Something happened that I have noticed before in many if not all the groups I have led or been a part of in my ministry. It happens pretty much daily in numerous ways in numerous conversations with numerous people. There is a tendency to minimize and divert attention from what is really at the heart of a matter. I know I do it all the time as well. Even though I know the intention of the group is to grow deeper together or even the intention of the conversation is healthy and caring, I still hide and detour my way around certain topics, especially if those conversations are getting close to the heart. This afternoon I asked one person how he was doing and he said "really good". That's pretty much the standard answer I have become accustomed to so I decided to not let him get away with such a trite answer. I asked what was going so good? He responded that not many things were going that well. As he continued to speak each sentence began to unravel a world of disappointment, confusion and boredom...especially boredom. Finally, he said, "So I guess I am not doing so great eh?"
The other person in the room piped up and spilled his similar battle with boredom. His was more of a roller coaster affair with an enemy that scared him. He knew his boredom was a precursor to all kinds of temptation. He was concerned that in a moment of weakness due to his overwhelming sense of boredom he would give in. The two of them got into a great dialogue over this serious issue that faces so many people in our world. Each of us is in our early 40's and we wondered a bit about mid life and whether or not that might have some influence. I confessed that so far I have been able to beat the boredom bug but felt trapped at times inside my calling to pastor here in this place. While it is not the same as boredom it can have similar effects on our overall sense of well-being.
I wondered if maybe King David was bored when he was out viewing the city of Jerusalem instead of out taking care of Kingly business? Then while viewing the city he caught an eye full of sensual beauty in the person of Bathsheba. One thing lead to another and .... you know the rest of the tragic story. Was it boredom that was at the heart of this sad story?
I once heard a saying that went like this, "most people in the world live lives of quiet desperation." Even christians can have these kinds of feelings. What do we do with them? Where do they come from and when do they leave? What does one say to someone who has a solid faith in Christ and yet struggles sometimes with an overwhelming feeling of boredom in life? We finished our chat without to many answers, none in fact, but the others expressed that they felt a bit better just having had the chance to share their struggle. Maybe that's the point. Nobody tried to fix anyone, there was just a great feeling of not being alone in our struggle. And, Christ is there in the midst and so are a couple of other brothers to support, pray and stand beside us.

Alpha program on steroids

This one is for Chris and his anti-programatic mindset these days. If you would like to check out a well made Alpha course TV add. I thought it was well made anyway.

Horse & Buggy Faith

We spent an unusual amount of time in Banff this summer. Cheryl loves going there because it is a throw back to her university days when she would take her friend there on weekends to get away. I quite like it too. There is definitely a different crowd there. There seem to be about 3 kinds of people. First there were the tourists. They were all over the place, crowding the streets, crammed into restaurants and shops, spending money like it was water. Then there are the local folks; the regular, everyday, "Jack and Jill's" that call Banff their home. Finally, there are the twenty something’s, partied out, exhausted looking, college students, trying to find themselves by working the manual labour jobs in the park and in the town. It truly makes for quite an interesting mix and a fun place to visit for sure. While we're there it seems like we usually make our way to the "Cow Store" and a few doors down the "Candy Shop". In between the two there is usually a Horse and Buggy parked, waiting for you to step a board and go for a quaint ride through town. While I wait outside for the girls to finish I get a chance to watch these horse and buggy rides. Lots of people stop and look, pet the horse, ask a few questions, find out how much it costs, quickly end the conversation and move on. Every once in a while someone will get in and the clip clop sound of the horse moves these folks on down the street with a big smile of enjoyment pasted across their faces for the next 10 min.
Recently, I took Paige and Danae and a couple of other youth who love techno stuff onto the streets of Peachland. The guys helped by being my camera crew while and the girls were just there to look good and hopefully attract a crowd. It worked because we barely got our camera out and we had three volunteers ready to go on camera to answer a couple of questions. The first question was what do you think of the church in general and the second one if they were from Peachland was have you heard of Peachland community church if so what have you heard? We will use these clips in our services during the next month as we talk about the vision and mission of our church. The answers were amazing and quite interesting.
I have been reading about the church a fair bit these days and I came across a quote that I think says it all so well. “I think where I come from there is also a strong sense of apathy. People don’t hate the church, as much as they just see it like a horse and buggy. Nice to take a ride in once in a while, but not something that makes sense to integrate into your everyday life.” If I were to sum up the answers I heard that day on the streets of Peachland that would definitely sum them up. The church seems to have lost its power, its wonder, and its sense of awe! Even among the "faithful" church is usually not considered something that should be integrated into everyday life. I wonder how badly God must want to change this scenario. Lord start with me.

When things get resolved

When you go through a series of tough choices that affect other people's lives it can take a lot of communication with many others involved and it can get rough and gruff at times. It often feels like things are out of sync and it can grind on our hearts and minds and emotions in waves. Sometimes I wake from my sleep trying to decide what to do next, what to try and what to avoid trying. I pray and pray for wisdom and a right spirit and it can seem like forever while I am in the midst of the constant relational turmoil around me. It can affect all the aspects of my life, my relationships with my wife, kids, co-workers, and the church and even my relationship with God in adverse ways. It goes through a series of ups and downs like a roller coaster and it affects your stomach as much as it affects your emotions.

A meeting is set. Things get said. Voices get loud and some cry. Silence sometimes accompanies. Deep breaths are taken. A prayer is shot heavenward.

And then something happens.

There is a breakthrough, an illumination, or a revelation and the lights go on. The hearts of those involved soften, the tension in the room drops and the sense of the "oil of the Holy Spirit" begins to smooth over all those involved. Apologies are made, hands are clasped, hugs are given and backs are slapped. A good sign that things are getting resolved is humor. Somebody smiles or laughs or says something that in any other situation would have no humor in it at all but in this place and at that time it brings nervous but heart-felt laughter. People begin to leave, they begin to chat about other things as they move towards the doors. There is a strong sense that the Master has been there, we're all exhausted but somehow it feels good. You walk outside and as a little blast of fall wind hits you you realize there was sweat on your brow and even your underarms feel the coolness. You get in the car and you my shed a tear or just sit in the silence or take the long way home and listen to the radio. I love it when things get resolved. There is no feeling on earth quite like it. You crash into bed and it's gone gone gone the burden is gone. Hallelujah!

Random Thoughts about Storms

I wonder if there were storms in the pre-Noah post-Adam and Eve days. I think I remember some Creation Research scratchy old film that our church in Beaverlodge showed when I was a kid. If I remember it right I was told that storms and rain were not a part of that cool pre-historic world. They somehow had proof that storms and rain were not necessary because the waters from the deep watered the earth. Men even lived longer lives because of this wonderfully protected environment that God had set up. No UV rays from the sun or any other junk like that to worry about getting skin cancer from. It sounded so serene!........... and just a bit boring! Imagining a world w/o storms is very hard to do. Storms like Hurricane Katrina are big, bad and scary. A storm like the one we had at Camp Nakaman many years ago that was the precursor to a tornado touching down in a trailer park in North West Edmonton. That always seems to happen to trailer parks! When I think of the different events in my life each one has a significant storm attached to it. When I lived in the Philippines I remember the huge monsoon rains that flooded the city. Wading neck deep in sewer filled water and praying for the protection of God from catching some weird disease. Or the storm when I was in Hungary one night. The thunder was so loud it literally shook us inside our tent and it even moved our tent. It scared the girls so bad they came and joined us in our tent. It was a bit squishy but we all stuck our heads out of the tent door and watched the show that God was providing. As I think of it I am pretty sure that a major storm has graced most if not all of the memorable events of my life. Storms were a big part of Jesus ministry as well. Some of his most famous miracles happened during storms including the walking on water miracle.
Storms make us wonder. They make us pause, praise or pray. They bring the best out in people when they are moved to merciful marvelous acts towards the victims of really big and really bad storms. How about you, any storms attached to your memories?

the girls amazing birthday weekend.WMA
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oh no...

What am I going to do with all these girls in this house? Too much estrogen! Help!!!!!!

The service today was ICE COLD! The coldest I can remember for several years. We had about 40+ show up, there was a huge family that came for a baby dedication and the other 20 + were regulars. We still had a fantastic time. Truth be known I actually enjoy these types of services. Those who attend are really passionate about being there in the cold. It adds a little something to the service and makes us all more desirous of God doing something spectacular. It was a great time. I sensed the Lord working in the lives of the non-believers in the family and one young man who had left our church bitter about 6 years ago began to face his past and desire to bring some form of reconciliation with others in the fellowship.

On a different note Paige and Danae wanted a firetruck ride as a part of their birthday celebration. I just got back and their friends were ecstatic, they all had a good time. Oh, Cheryl just called we are going to sit down to a lagsunia feast. Later.

An encouragment card from God

It had been a quiet morning and an even quieter afternoon in our office today. The phone rang only once and it was around 2:00. A voice I did not recognize asked me if I was Kevin Nichol. I assured him that I was every day. He started out a bit awkward trying to explain why he was calling me. As the story unfolded I discovered he is from Grande Prairie and somehow he had gotten his hands on a video tape that was made of a service I had preached in the Kamloops Alliance Church in March of 1997. It took me a while but I slowly began to remember the occasion as he unpackaged the sermon I had preached that weekend during a special outreach focus of the church. Anyway, I finally remembered most of that event and then I asked him why he had called. As it turns out he had been so blessed by the message I had preached he felt deep in his spirit that he was supposed to track me down, give me a call, and ask if I had any prayer requests he could get busy and begin praying for. I almost dropped the phone. It has been such a long time since anyone had come to me and asked me that question. I was a bit slow to answer even lost for words. Angels, maybe not literal ones (or maybe it was who is to say) out of the blue, calling me up to remind me that the Spirit of God had moved on their hearts and prompted them to announce the commencement of specific prayer. Now that is what I call cool! Thanks Lord for that unique moment of encouragement just for me!

Stare at the stars

Our neighbors have a cute little fellow who is 3 years old. We have a little ritual that we go through each day if he is outside playing when I arrive home from work. I am pretty much guaranteed that he will hauler across the two yards, "Hello Kevin". To which I respond "Hello Michael" with my best french accent. (His dad Guy us from Quebec). It happens day after day after day and now we have progressed to finding out what he is doing and he is very quick to fill me in on all the un-intelligible details of whatever it is he has been up to there in his yard. I like it. Most of these conversations take place around 4:30 in the afternoon. However, tonight I had some after supper counseling and got home after dark. When I arrived home there was no outside lights on and it was pitch black out when I heard that familiar voice from across the yard "Hello Kevin!" At first I thought I was hearing things but I responded back, "hello Michael where are you?" He said, "I am here!" I responded, "where are you right now?" To which he said, "I'm right over here." I couldn't see him anywhere in the darkness. I was starting to wonder if he was sleep walking and had wondered outside without his parents knowledge. I was just about to head over there when I heard another sound, this time it was his father giggling (with a french accent)! As it turned out they were outside on their balcony, laying on their backs, staring at the stars. It was a cute moment and we all had a good laugh. I asked Michael if he had counted the stars yet and he promptly told me there were just too many to count. What a neat moment with some pretty awesome neighbors. I think it was about a week or so ago that I last wondered out and stared at the stars myself. I like to make it a habit as much as possible to sit out on our front deck and stare at the skies and just think about the majesty of God. The one who put those stars in place, the one who calls each one by name, the one who knows me and cares about my every move, my every emotion, my every thought and my every inclination towards him. It makes me feel secure and as though I am in my place in this world. It somehow has a deep down calming affect on me. The heavens declare the glory of God and all I have to do is lay down on my back and be completely overwhelmed with his amazing glory. Thanks for the stars God, they are such a wonder and such a warm blanket of security for me just the knowledge that you are there and you care about me.

Falls upon us

Yard looks great. Grass cut, trees trimmed, weeds waked, and even got the windows washed. I think we are ready for fall. Probably have to mow the lawn one more time before it stops growing all together. I think I may have got a sun burn today it was so hot around 1ish this afternoon. We did go pick up a friend of the girls and head down to the beach for some sunshine and some reading by the lake. We sure are spoiled by the beauty of the place we live. Tonight should be just sitting back relaxing and having a good time with the fam. As I look forward into the week ahead, I have some finishing up of family counseling for about 3 couples and then starting two more either this week or next. This Sunday will be out in the park again as is our custom because the community center is used for the fall fair. We always look forward to this last outdoor Sunday service. We will have a child dedication and hopefully a few baptisms. AND of course we have three lovely young ladies turning 15 and 13 this weekend. I am also looking forward to meeting some of their camp friends for a concert on Tuesday night in Kelowna as well. It is at Trinity Baptist and is a back to school kick off evening. Should be fun. So everyone have a great week.

Stupid gas prices

Well, we have had to tighten up the belt considerably this week. Funny how when it comes to making belt tightening decisions their is that initial sense of loss, a bit of grief and pinch of remorse before the decision is made. However, after it is made we wonder how come it was so painful because we feel "free-er" for having unloaded some costs and some stuff that apparently we really could go without- quite nicely thank you very much. However, one more decision must be made. My nice little GMC Sonoma 4X4! I love my truck. Dad gave it to me a couple years back and I love my truck. It has been a good truck as well, reliable, handy and of course a little bit of fun when 4X4ing is happening. But it only gets about 25 mpg at best and that means that with amount of driving I do with it and the amount of driving we do as a family with the van our weekly fuel costs average around $150.00! Throw into the mix that I have not had a raise in about 8 years and it looks like a smaller, cheaper vehicle is in the near future. I asked a friend of mine who is a partner in a dealership to see if he could find me a 4 cylinder car that could seat 5 and get good fuel economy. He called me back so fast that I was caught off guard. A Dodge Stratus had come onto their lot, 1997, 150,000 klms, loaded, 4 cyl. five pass. and front wheel drive. He would trade me straight across + 500 and taxes. And we can pay off the 500+taxes over a few months if we need to (which we would need to do). We are taking the weekend to think about it and pray about it but it may have to happen as I hear prices are going to up again! Stupid gas prices!

Godly incompetence

Wow this week has slipped by and I have neglected my time of reflection around my blog site. I have had a very interesting week, mostly full of messy relationships, messy lives and messy unclear circumstances where I am not always confident that I say or do the right thing. In fact I had to resign myself several times this week to the fact that God will be my judge some day on the "wisdom" I offered on the disputable matters I have given council on to people this week. There is a part of me that would love for things to work out neat and tidy all the time but then there is a part of me that seems to believe, and even quite strongly, that messy is were the action really is. I read a quote this week that has been rumbling around in my mind and I am beginning to see what the author Mike Yaconelli was writing about. "No one does holy living very well, we all suffer from godly incompetence. However, the church has communicated that competence is one of the fruits of the Spirit. There are so many afraid of entering into the joy of their salvation because they fear the possibility of doing or saying the incompetent thing." As I looked around and as I looked inside, I saw the truth of these words. Spiritual incompetence is like the 8th deadly sin. Mistakes are taken way to seriously and there are those inside the church who believe that their competence is a badge of their maturity. When I would say that the desire to love God and the desire to love others is really the essence of truly living a godly incompetence. I think we get it right far less often than we think we do and we get it wrong far more often that we admit we do. Yet, God is so gracious and merciful, and slow to anger, and forgiving, accepting, loving and kind. Tonight as Cheryl and I sat sipping our coffees after a good hard walk, a man who is well known in the community for his wicked life, came up to us and declared he was three days old in his new found faith. And with that the harshness of the week evaporated and the joy of serving Christ was invigorated. He asked if I would do his fifth step for AA and he wanted to know what to do next. It was like a warm bath of joy flooded my soul to see his new joy in the Lord. And somehow all was made right once again.